What exactly do I call this year? The most parts of it felt like an extension of 2020; baffling and with lots of heartaches. It’s safe to say that it wasn’t my best and definitely wasn’t a good year, however, things did seem a little brighter with the year coming to a wrap. I must also add that, just like any year, I learnt a lot and did some growing.Honestly, I’m amazed at the resilience I built.

I’ve been through nights where I had to hang on to a thin thread of rope.
Hope.
I’ve got battle scars to show; a gift that the year bestowed me with
I’ve shed the old skin that reeked of fear. Fear still lingers but I’m learning not to be tied down by it.

I do love making a good list and even more satisfying is ticking the ones that were actualized. Unfortunately, I was robbed of the joy of getting to bring most of my goals into execution which was a real bummer for an obsessive planner like myself.
A few did turn out well. Two steps forward and a step back is better than no step at all.

My entire 2021 was academic in nature: 6th year clinical rotations, end of year exams, professional exams.
I began my 6th year clinical rotation on January 18th, 2021 at the Ho teaching hospital. Yes! I lived in the Volta regional capital for approximately 6 months and 2 weeks and it was such a good experience. As early as February though I was wondering how I was going to get through to August. The realities were so different from the expectations I had played out in my mind. I had to do a big mental reset.

It wasn’t rosy but it was still a good experience.
It rains a lot in Ho, that’s one thing I remember a lot. I recall the first time I saw hailstones and was so damn scared that the room would give in on us.
It’s quieter and less populated. I enjoyed the khebab in front of the mirage pub. It was good not forgetting the yam chips and chicken.
I remember the funny experience where my roommate and I were chased by a taxi driver for not paying him. That man was crazy!
Just before you call us bad people, you should hear the entire story(I’m laughing my head off right now)
Aunt Yayra’s beans and plantain opposite Trafalgar was such a banger causing so much heartbreak when the beans finishes abruptly at 12pm.
The group hangouts/movie nights and the acoustic breaks
And then there was me trying so hard to calm the nerves that were causing a ruckus right before my presentation on Atherosclerosis and Dyslipidemia and every other presentation.

The few goals I achieved were academic in nature and I guess it’s a good place to start. Final year of school ushered in a number of milestones.
I graduated in November after 6 years of Doctor of Pharmacy in KNUST. I bagged a degree guys! (as the folks say).
I then took the Ghana Pharmacy Professional Qualifying Examinations (GPPQE) on the 2nd and 6th of December for the written and oral exams respectively which I am glad to say I passed.
A reintroduction is in order here. I am Dr. Sedem Appleh (PharmD)

Despite these wins, I couldn’t find the strength to celebrate
To genuinely pat myself in the back for a good job done
I have shed tears where I’m supposed to laugh
I’ve counted losses at a time meant for listing the gains
And I have expressed so much frustration in what I couldn’t do yesterday rather than what today offered
And the possibilities of tomorrow

I believe a lot more out there have countless of times found themselves in my position
So here’s what I have to say and how I intend on fixing it
To the ones that tend to be unkind to themselves,harsh and unrelenting
And struggling to commend themselves for the little wins
It’s great to want to see the huge feats but in the course of the journey
Before you reach that destination
Celebrate the little wins
Beam at the milestones
Take a sip
Give yourself a pat in the back!

Confidence and bravery are things I’ve had to work on and I can say that I’m definitely slightly better than I was last year. This year offered opportunities to test my confidence and oh boy there were lots of nerve wracking times.

In relation to sappleh.wordpress.com, it’s quite disappointing that I couldn’t post as much as I would have wanted to this year and I’m trying so hard not to use studying and being in final year as an excuse. However, I can assure myself and you that next year will be better!


My mental health has been a rollercoaster this year. Ouuu what a ride!
I’ve juggled from I’ve got this to
I’m okay
Who the hell am I kidding?
I’m breaking apart
I can’t breathe
I can’t see myself
Fuck life! I just can’t be bothered anymore.
I just want to sleep
I’m just not lucky
Let’s start again
I’ll try harder

It’s been way harder then I imagined it would be. I did take periodic social media breaks anytime I felt overwhelmed and did my best to reduce the over powering urge to seek constant validation or approval from others.
However, I definitely wasn’t the kindest to myself and that hurts a ton looking back at it now. How I could break my own heart over and over again, disappoint my own self and feel like a stranger in my own skin marvels me.It’s a good thing I still have numerous attempt to try at it again.It’s a difficult thing to practice self care,self forgiveness and kindness to ourselves especially when we’ve spent so many years believing we can only get these from others and not our very own ourselves. Some battles are fought on a daily basis.


For the ones that lent me their faith because I didn’t have enough to stand on my own, thank you.
For the ones that came through at a time when I saw no way through
I’m grateful
A big shout-out to the old golden friends and the beautiful reminders that filled my heart with hope.
I met some interesting personalities this year and I’m grateful for the new connections.
A blissful new year to everyone!