I used to think evolution was like a path—clear, visible, easy to follow. But this year has taught me that it’s more like wandering through fog, only recognizing the way forward after you’ve already taken a few steps. In my case, several missteps.

One key thing to note when creating a mission statement is not to write an essay. I have learned that this year. A mission statement should be a few sentences long—something to quickly grab onto as a reminder. It should be concise and impactful. Writing an entire essay defeats that purpose, and yet, that’s exactly what I did.

I had an interesting theme for this year—evolve. Am I evolving? I’ll get back to you on that.

At the beginning of this year, I was sure of one thing: I wanted to evolve as a person. Why did I choose “evolve” as a theme? It’s probably because it sounded so aspirational (just joking). I felt I was still in the same rut I had been in year after year. But what does evolving mean in the first place? To evolve is to gradually change over time. In some sense, I was anticipating a flashy transformation—a fast track from an ugly duckling to a swan.

What I later understood was that evolving happens in a subtle manner and is so easy to miss. Until one day, you look at the path you’ve tread and realize it was happening all along.

More than half of the year has passed by, but there’s a little over three months to go, and that time is still enough to get back to my basics. I’ve come to see that I’m my own most horrific betrayer—quick to leave myself in the mud and throw everything away. This is something I’ve become aware of. These tendencies occur when one’s foundation of core values and boundaries is weak.

I’m learning to be open to reviewing my themes and values throughout the year, regardless of whether it’s January or September. Have I evolved into the picture I foresaw? The truthful answer is that I am still a work in progress. I’m often so enthralled with the destination that I miss out on the process.

Do I still feel the same way about evolving as I did at the beginning of the year? I actually do, and I also believe that I need to come to terms with accepting a lot of things—no matter how unpleasant they are.

I’ve reread the mission statement—or rather, essay—that I wrote in January. Although most of the content is still valid, it doesn’t seem like something I want to work with for the rest of this year. If this year has strayed far from what you envisioned, I’ll say the same thing to you that I to myself:  give yourself some grace. Be kind to yourself along the way.

How different has this year been for you?

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