Book: The mountain is you: Transforming self-sabotage into self-mastery by Brianna Wiest

The most common emotion that arises while you’re breaking self sabotaging behavior is resistance.

Brianna states that self sabotage is a product of low emotional intelligence.
When we’re scared of losing something, we try to push it away as a form of self preservation.

How does one deal with the self sabotaging mechanisms?

Resistance:
-to release resistance we need to get clear on what we want as well as why we want it. identify unconscious beliefs preventing you from showing up and then step back into the work when you feel inspired.

The upper limit problem
-The upper limit problem is a actually a good sign. It means that you’re reaching new levels in your life and accomplishing feats. It’s something to commend yourself on. The trick is here is to gradually acclimatize yourself to the new normal.

Uprooting
-with uprooting, once the pattern is recognized, the next step is to confront the root cause or discomfort (and this is something we’re running from). It’s an uncomfortable but necessary process

Downplaying
– acknowledge and appreciate the achievements of others while still being happy about your own
– Accept compliments…’Thank you, this is something I have been working at for long’

“We do not achieve one thing only to get worse again”

you can view it this way…see the improvement/achievement in your life as an opportunity for others to be impacted/improved

Unhealthy habits
– define health on your own terms. What does a healthy look like for you. Don’t force it, start slowly and build on it.
At the end of the day, go where your best interests are.

Guilt of succeeding
similarly to downplaying, view success as a tool to do positive things in your life and the world around you

New change creates adjustments shock: increased anxiety or irritability which can bring to manifestation unconscious attachment and beliefs

Having a great new job could bring about fears of losing it or inadequacy
Or being in a new happy relationship can cause paranoia about insecurities

“We often resist most deeply the things that we want”

In ‘The Mountain Is You’, we find out that the most common treatment for irrational fear is exposure which reminds me of homeopathic medicine where a little bit of whatever is causing an ailment is used to treat it which allows your body to build some tolerance

Recovering from self sabotage necessitates a process of letting go. How do we let go?
Brianna Wiest explains that we let go when we build a new life so immersive and engaging and exciting that , slowly over time, we forget about the past. Now this sounds quite cumbersome and stressful and a little hard.

Here’s the thing; letting go is a process. I have touched on this a little in a previous post. Instead of ruminating over past failures or longing over things we couldn’t achieve in the past, we make efforts into the ‘now’ and build for the future.

“You change your life when you start showing up exactly as you are”

You have nobody to prove wrong other than yourself. The closure is for you. The growth is for you. It’s you vrs you.
If you’re crafting a glow up just for the sake of others, you don’t have your own approval.

Self Sabotage to self mastery
Brianna mentions that if one is responsible for holding their life back, then they’re also capable of moving it forward

indulging in emotional suppression is a strategy employed when we don’t have adequate coping mechanisms for our feelings.

To become the most powerful version of ourselves, we need to become aware of our weakness. Interestingly, she also mentioned that we have to be willing to be disliked (God knows I gotta have the courage to be disliked)

Becoming mentally strong
Being mentally strong is a process. A practice.
First of all, mentally strong people are planners. They do what will bring about the best long term outcome and prepare for it.

They ask for help. this is something that people struggle with it esp at a time where asking for help feels like a weakness.

Stop extrapolating; making a long term or a final prediction through a single feeling or experience.

Take responsibility for your outcomes. The ones that you have control over of course.

Reflect on what went wrong, learn from it and how to rectify it.

Becoming a master of yourself
Someday we’ll look back and come to realize that the mountains were gifts. They were platforms for growth and opportunities. To become a master of yourself means to take complete responsibility of your life.

Change no matter how good will be uncomfortable until it becomes familiar.

One day, the mountain that was in front of you will be so far behind you, it will barely be visible in the distance. But who you become in learning to climb it? That will stay with you forever. That is the point of the mountain.